a new doxology

“Your kingdom come, your will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.”

In the middle of Jesus’ training prayer with his disciples (Matthew 6:9-13), he spoke this phrase in reference to God’s coming Kingdom and will (or plan) for the world. My mom forwarded me an email this morning discussing this passage of the Lord’s Prayer, it was actually an excerpt from a book and the title of the daily devotion was “Where have you had a taste of the Kingdom?” This is an intriguing question, especially since we all experience “the Kingdom” in different ways, times and places - and many people probably wouldn’t describe these experiences as “Kingdom moments” - and as for the “how” of the question, it implies that we are apparently able to use our senses (including taste) to experience these moments.

I could write a lot about the imagination and possibilities involved in the wording of this question, but regardless of the when, where or hows that are involved in people’s experiences with the sacred/spiritual in our world, I want to include Richard’s Daily Meditation from today because I think it offers a good/brief description of when and where the Kingdom of God is found here on earth today.

“Thy kingdom come” means very clearly that the Kingdom is something that enters into this world, or, as Jesus puts it, “is close at hand.” Don’t project it into another world. It’s a reality that breaks into this world now and then, when people are like God.

When that can happen in terms of structures or groups, when you have a free group of people who love the truth more than themselves, then you have a taste of the Kingdom descending to earth.

“Your Kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” is my favorite and most-used phrase from the Lord’s Prayer. I’ve used it in several papers and sermons as a way of not only talking about what God is doing “right here, right now” but also because I think it calls us to do something, to actively work with and on behalf of God in the world - in whatever ways we see possible - to help Jesus’ prayer become a reality.

George Eldon Ladd was a seminary professor during the 1900s who taught that the future Kingdom of God - what many people believe we are waiting for, heaven - is already here on earth (through the church), but it won’t be complete until Jesus returns (again). This has become known as the “already/not yet” theology of God’s kingdom.

What about you? How do you understand the Kingdom of God? How have you experienced it in your own life? Where have you seen God working in your world? Have you ever witnessed people doing God’s will and helping bring glimpses of God’s Kingdom to earth? What senses have been involved in your experiences with God moving closer to us, to meet us here and now? Where have you had a taste of the Kingdom?

Open your imagination to the endless possibilities of how God can work in and through any part of creation. God can use music, art, nature, technology, even the media to speak to people and whisper a message of hope, joy, love or forgiveness. Individuals can be inspired to get involved in efforts to make a difference in the world - God’s movement in and for the world - by watching a movie, hearing a song, reading a book or even seeing others make a difference on the news or a TV show. Allow yourself to be free of any perceived expectations and simply follow the Spirit into the world to make a difference in whatever ways are available to you. Maybe it’s something small, or perhaps it’s something big. Don’t worry about the specifics, just start with the simple prayer that God’s “Kindom will come and God’s will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”

During worship at Journey tonight we discussed 1 John 1:8-2:2, which is where some of the text from the Lutheran Book of Worship’s (LBW) brief order for confession and forgiveness is found (pdf). This piece of liturgy is probably familiar to people who grew up in traditional Lutheran churches because it most likely would have been part of worship every Sunday since they were young. Being part of a Lutheran congregation (Calvary Lutheran), we try to stay true to our Lutheran heritage, but we also make efforts to simply be Christian while “doing” and “being” Church in new/different ways that are meaningful to people, regardless of whether they grew up in a church or not. So tonight, during worship, we took time to discuss the words of confession and forgiveness from a hymnal that is now 30 years old, and in groups of 2-3 people throughout the sanctuary, we re-wrote the liturgy in our own words. Each group was assigned a short segment of the liturgy and during the music-worship after the message, the pieces that each group re-wrote were typed together and put onto slides (because of the way it was constructed, being written in small segments by different groups of people, it reads a bit disjointed). Then, before the last song of the night, we gave this new version (or “remix”) its first public reading. It was a very cool thing to witness and be part of, and it could have never been done without a congregation that is open to trying new things, filled with imagination and of course, technology was an important element as well (since without it, the words could have never been put together so quickly and displayed on screens for the entire congregation to read together).

Here is what we came up with.

Brief Order for Confession and Forgiveness (remix)
Written by the Journey worship community at Calvary Lutheran in Golden Valley, MN on June 15, 2008

Leader: In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

All: Amen.

Leader: Almighty God, you know us and our lives. Clean up our hearts and minds by your example. We will try to love you - to show you what you are through the things we say and do, by the power of Christ’s life, death and resurrection.

All: Amen.

Leader: We have to stop being egotistical - to go against society - and be honest with ourselves. Fortunately, if we admit to these sins, God, who is a constant and reliable source for every need and the ultimate judge of all truth, will forgive us for all the ways we turn against him and give us a fresh start.

(Silence for reflection and self-examination)

Leader: Most merciful God,

All: we admit that we are prone to sin and we need your help to free us. Every day of our lives we sin against you with our actions and our inability to act, as well as our hurtful words of painful silence - we continually drop the ball - sin has consumed our lives and there are a lot of things we have not done but should be doing to glorify your name. We have held back from loving you fully. We have focused on loving ourselves, and with what we have left, we have not reached out to our neighbors. Your son sacrificed and died for us. Show us your mercy, forgive our sins, refresh our hearts and guide us through our days. We love you and want to be like you. We are thankful for your grace so that our sins do not permanently separate us from you.

All: Amen.

Leader: We are in need of a savior - in need of mercy - and God provided Jesus who loves us so much he died for us. Through Jesus’ love, God has forgiven all our sins. If you have faith, you belong to God’s family and have been sealed with the Holy Spirit.

All: Amen.

(Please feel free to use this version in your own worship settings, but if you’re looking for a new way to incorporate confession and forgiveness into worship I would strongly suggest having your community write (or re-write) something new and create a more organic/homemade liturgy. If you have questions about the specifics of how we went about doing this at Journey, you can email me.)

I had the chance to see Brooke Fraser in concert a few nights ago. Brooke is a kiwi (a New Zealander) who I just started listening to about a year ago. She doesn’t tour a whole lot in the US, so I have been excited ever since I saw that she was coming to Minneapolis to play at one of my favorite venues, the Varsity Theater in Dinkytown. It was a great night of music, including a short set by my friend Elizabeth Hunnicutt followed by an incredible new and still unsigned artist named William Fitzsimmons, who nearly stole the show. I just couldn’t get enough of his music, and in the days since the show I have bought both of his albums on iTunes and he has quickly become one of my most listened to artists. If you like really chill/acoustic music you should definitely check out his myspace to give him a listen (his style is similar to, but not exactly like, Joshua Radin and Iron & Wine).

When Brooke first came on stage I was a bit surprised by her quirky personality - her NZ accent kept reminding me of Flight of the Conchords, a comedy/music duo also from New Zealand - but she also showed a very kind and serious side (which is what I expected, given that she is closely connected with Hillsong Church in Australia, where she has written and recorded some of today’s most well-known modern worship songs, like “Hosanna” and “Lead Me to the Cross”).

Before closing the night by playing her “favorite song,” Brooke told the incredible story of an experience she had a few years ago in Rwanda that inspired  the title track of her new album, “Albertine” (the song she was about to play), which is named after a young woman she met there. I had seen the video for this song on youtube and thought I understood a bit of the story behind it, but hearing the story from Brooke took it to a completely new level. Later that night, after getting home from the show, I was reading through the liner notes of Brooke’s CD (I bought it at the show) while listening to the album on my headphones and I ran across the story of Albertine again, this time as it had been written by Brooke. Albertine’s story is one that Brooke felt needed to be shared through her music, and I feel it needs to be shared here as well.

Here is the video for the song (much of which appears to have been filmed in Rwanda) and below that is Albertine’s story (in Brooke’s word, as found inside her album).

Albertine by Brooke Fraser

In 1994, the tiny Central-East African nation of Rwanda was devastated by genocide. Almost one million Rwandans were killed at the hands of their neighbors, friends and community leaders within the short space of 100 days…the catastrophic outcome of decades of tension and fighting between two ethnic groups - the Hutus and the Tutsis - a conflict that did not exist before Belgian colonists moved in during the first part of the 20th century and introduced an alien politician divide.

My first visit to Rwanda occurred in June 2005, eleven years on from the atrocities. I visited local authorities, churches, schools, official memorials and living ones: child-headed households and communities living with AIDS, facing life without adequate medical care or basics like clean water. I met a people who are humble, joyous, diligent and in deep pain.

One day before I was to fly out and onto Tanzania, my friend and guide Joel Nsengiyumva took me to a village school in a district called Kabuga. He wanted me to see that Rwanda had hope - and no better way to see it than in the next generation. The kids and I exchanged songs and dances, and as things wrapped up and we were about to leave, Joel asked if we could take a few minutes and meet with an orphan whose personal history he was familiar with.

Throughout the trip Joel had introduced me to people as a musician from the other side of the world who was going to go back to my people, tell them about the people of Rwanda and help. No pressure. That afternoon we walked across the schoolyard into an empty classroom, joined by a tall, beautiful girl wearing the school’s cobalt and navy garb, where Joel’s introduction was about to become a kind of commission.

Just before he shared her story with me, that of one person laying down their life for another, he uttered these words:

“You must go back to your people and you must write a song,
and I will tell you what the name of the song is going to be.”

He motioned toward the girl.

“This is Albertine.”

Albertine is alive today because of the selfless, sacrificial love of another. Funny thing is, so am I. And now I want to know what it’s like to love other people like that, so have decided to spend my whole life on the experiment.

Feel free to join me. We might just change the world.

I spent some time reading Out of Ur this morning (the conversational companion blog of Leadership Journal) and ran across an old interview/article titled “Donald Miller Isn’t Hip: a gospel for people tired of trying to be cool” (from May 15, 2006). Some of you may recognize the name Donald Miller as the author of several recent books, including Blue Like Jazz, but I don’t think it matters if you’ve heard of him or read any of his books because I think what he says in this interview is still fitting for people today; especially for anyone who has observed the Church - whether from the inside or the outside - become too focused on its “image” (trying to keep it clean, or even cool), and in doing this, has misplaced Jesus’ commandment to love others by putting it after their own agendas and beliefs about who or what is worthy to be loved.

I believe that God’s call (and Christ’s witness) to all of us is that we love others, no matter what. This is not easy, in fact, it can get really difficult. (Just think about someone you don’t get along with, then think about loving them with the love of Christ…it’s tough, huh?)

Here is a portion of the interview with Donald Miller:

You’ve said that the church “uses love as a commodity.” What do you mean?

Miller: We sometimes take a Darwinian approach with love-if we are against somebody’s ideas, we starve them out. If we disagree with somebody’s political ideas, or sexual identity, we just don’t “pay” them. We refuse to “condone the behavior” by offering any love.

This approach has created a Christian culture that is completely unaware what the greater culture thinks of us. We don’t interact with people who don’t validate our ideas. There is nothing revolutionary here. This mindset is hardly a breath of fresh air to a world that uses the exact same kinds of techniques.

What’s the alternative?

Miller: The opposite is biblical love, which loves even enemies, loves unconditionally, and loves liberally. Loving selectively is worldly; giving it freely is miraculous.

If love isn’t a commodity, what is it?

Miller: I think of love like a magnet. When people see it given in the name of God, they’re drawn to it. If I withhold love, then people believe I have met a God that makes me a hateful and vicious person. And they’re repelled.

I have two responsibilities to this world, the first is to love; the second is to speak the truth. I can tell somebody such and such a behavior is sin, and still love them. Why not? Why not bring them food, why not hug them, why not have them over to the house? Won’t this only help them understand the truth?

To read the interview in its entirety, click HERE.

I played golf for the first time of the year last Saturday and it reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago after playing a round of golf at my cabin. I added a few things to the intro, but for the most part, this is what wrote two years ago…

I am not good at golf. It is a wonderful and frustrating activity. The more I play, the more I realize that golf is a sport that you can never master - no matter how much you practice. But it is a game that offers moments when it’s possible to trick yourself into thinking that you’re starting to figure things out…although you’re sure to do something (hit a shot into the woods, water or sand) and realize you have no idea what you’re doing just a few moments later. I’m convinced that I could play golf every day for the rest of my life and still be a terrible golfer. I’d still get frustrated and I’d still hit plenty of bad shots that make me want to say bad words, loudly. But I’d probably also hit at least one “perfect shot” each round that would make it all worth it and keep me coming back to play again, not quite ready to give up the dream that I’d figure it out and finally be good someday soon.

Now that the Minnesota weather is starting to cooperate and it’s safe to assume winter is finally over (probably), there are a lot of people (like me) in this area of the country who are going downstairs to get their golf clubs out of the basement, practicing their swing in the back yard and making plans to fill some of their summer days chasing a little white ball around the woods. If you think about it, the whole idea of golf is a rather bizarre and backwards thing. I mean, there are a lot of people who spend a lot of time and money on all the things involved in the game of golf (equipment, accessories, green fees, vacation time), and at many golf courses you actually have to plan ahead and reserve a time to play. Coincidentally, the courses where “tee times” are required are also more expensive. Now, assuming I’m not the only person who finds golf to be a rather frustrating experience at times (most of the time), doesn’t it seem strange that so many people are getting excited about days that will be filled with frustration. And the whole making a tee time thing…what does it say about us golfers that we take the time to actually schedule what time we will start getting pissed at ourselves? Shouldn’t those phone calls actually sound something like this?

Golf Course person: Hello, thanks for calling the golf course.
Golfer: Hi, I’d like to make a tee time for this Friday.
GC Person: Okay, what time would you like your attitude to start getting negative?
Golfer: I was hoping to start getting mad at myself around 9:00am.
GC Person: We have an opening at 9:13am, would you be willing to stay somewhat positive and optimistic for about 13 minutes later into the day?
Golfer: I suppose that would work.
GC Person: How many people will be getting angry and frustrated with you?
Golfer: There will be four of us.
GC Person: And would you like to get some exercise while getting disappointed?
Golfer: Excuse me?
GC Person: Would you like to walk or can we charge you a bunch of extra money to drive around in a glorified go-kart while complaining about how you’re playing?
Golfer: We’ll take two carts please.
GC Person: Great. We have you down for four people at 9:13 am this Friday. It will cost you each at least $50 of your hard earned money. See you then.
Golfer: Looking forward to it.

Like I said, I’m not a good golfer. But for some reason I keep playing, and every spring I get excited about getting back out on the course. There’s an old expression that says “everything I needed to know about life I learned from the game of golf” - and in some ways I think this is true - at least I know that every time I play golf I learn something…about life, about the world, and about myself.

I don’t spend a lot of money on golf. I usually play at my cabin where there is a decent 9-hole course just half a mile down the road and it only costs $10.50 per round. My dad and I (and sometimes my brother-in-law) begin many of our days on the golf course and then return to the cabin to drink coffee and eat breakfast (including bacon if we’re lucky!).

About once a summer I get the chance to be at my cabin by myself, and although it’s a place I usually associate with spending time with family and friends, it’s always nice to get away and spend some time there on my own. My dad is a great golf partner (he’s not way better than me, although I’ve still never beat him), but sometimes it’s sometimes fun to play alone without having to worry about anyone else seeing how bad I am. Of course, the problem with this - and this probably rarely presents itself - is when I hit a great shot and no one is there to witness it. I mean, what if I got a hole-in-one and no one saw it happen, would anyone believe me? (If you’ve seen me golf, please don’t answer that question.)

I wrote the following thoughts after playing golf by myself one morning at my cabin a few years ago.

Location: a golf course in northwest Wisconsin
Date: a Tuesday during the summer of ‘06
6th Hole: Par 4, 289 yards, dog-leg left

I hit a hybrid 3 iron/wood off the tee. It was the perfect shot. Flying high with a slight hook that followed the turn of the fairway…everything about it felt right. It was about 9:30 in the morning, so the sun was still at a sharp angle facing down at me, forcing me to squint while watching the ball sail through the air…it was glorious! (Read that last line like Will Ferrel would say it in Old School, “it was glooorrriious!”) I slowly put my club back, picked up my bag and started walking through the wet grass to find where my golf ball’s journey had ended.

Quick aside: There are two kinds of walks a golfer can have, and many different variations of each. The first is the “I just hit a great shot and I want everyone to notice” walk (confidence, pride, puffing out the chest and walking slowly to enjoy the feeling) and the second is the “that shot sucked and I want to get to my ball right now so I can hit it again before people see where I ended up” walk (frustrated, head down, muttering words you wouldn’t say around your grandma).

Since I was golfing by myself this morning, I enjoyed the walk on my own. Soaking in the wonderful feeling of every step, knowing that I had just hit a great shot. I noticed a grounds crew worker sprinkling fertilizer on the green ahead. “I bet he’s impressed,” I thought to myself. Assuming he had seen my ball drop onto the middle of the fairway just behind him.

Because of the bright sun and wet dew, every clump of grass and leaf had a shine to it that could have been mistaken for a golf ball from a distance, and as I got closer to where I thought my ball would be, I didn’t see it anywhere. I hadn’t actually seen where my ball was because of the bright sun, but I assumed it had either rolled just off the fairway or better yet, followed the left turn and continued down the middle of the fairway toward the hole.

I checked both. There was no golf ball. I was confused, but not worried. It had to be around somewhere, since after all, I had hit the ball perfectly.

Another aside: Just like there are two ways for a golfer to walk after hitting a shot, there are also two ways for a golfer to look for a missing ball. You can look for a ball “where you think it is” or “where you hope it is.” Occasionally where you think it is, is actually worse than where it actually is; sometimes where you think it is, is the same place where you hope it is; and oftentimes where you think and hope it is, is where it will never be in a million years - no matter how well you hit it. On this morning, where I thought it was, was in the middle of the fairway, 100 yards from the hole…but there was no golf ball where I hoped there would be, or anywhere else nearby for that matter.

I looked everywhere possible for that ball, but found nothing. I couldn’t believe it. How could I hit a ball perfectly and then not find it? My pride crept into my thoughts as I continued looking. “It must be up here,” I thought. “I hit the ball great, it has to be somewhere around here…and it has to be somewhere good!”
I never did find that golf ball. Where it ended up is a mystery I guess. So what does any of this have to do with life as a Christian? After all, I titled this piece “the double-bogey Christian.”

As Christians (and/or as golfers), we often think we’re doing better than we really are. We think we’re doing things perfectly or are at least on our way toward becoming better, and even when we get lost or confused, we think we’ll find what we’re looking for and figure it all out. We assume people are impressed by us and that we have reason to walk around with a lot of pride, like we’re pretty special. We don’t want to admit that we really don’t know what we’re doing, that we’re not nearly as good as we think.

Golf is intended to be fun and relaxing, so I’ve learned that it’s best for me to lower my expectations to protect myself from getting frustrated and mad - since that’s no way to spend a morning with my dad at the cabin. It’s common for most people to shoot for par, but perhaps I am more realistic than most people. I realize that if I tee off on every hole with the goal or expectation of getting par, I will at best live up to my expectations, and at worst fall terribly short and be disappointed.

I am a double-bogy golfer, so that’s my goal.

Sure, I’ll get some bogeys, an occasional par or a very rare birdie, but when the round is done my overall score will average out to a bunch of double-bogeys.

My life as a Christian is similar to my golf game. I wake up everyday fully intending to do good and be good (call it living “par”), yet I stumble in sin and end up with a bunch of double-bogeys.

I’ve golfed enough to know that a par for me is like an eagle for Tiger Woods, but a double-bogey for me is like Tiger getting a par. It’s more realistic to step up to the tees thinking I’m going to get a bogey or double-bogey than tricking myself into expecting I’m going to get a par or birdie.

As Christians, we often fool ourselves into thinking we can live life under par (the equivalent of being perfect), as if we have everything figured out and we’ve done something to be proud of…so we walk around feeling pretty proud of ourselves. Yet, in reality, if there was a scorecard for our life, it would have a lot of numbers with squares rather than circles (note: when scoring in golf, you draw a square around a score over par and a circle around scores under par).

I am a double-bogey Christian, and if you are honest with yourself, so are you…and that’s okay. God’s grace is sufficient for me, you and everyone else doing their best to make it through 18-holes of life.

[If you haven't been following the emails I've been sharing between me and my friend Jenny, you can click HERE to read Jenny's first email and then go through and read the rest in order (they are all linked together). You might notice from the time stamps at the top of each email that we seemed to stop writing after only about 3 days, but we have actually continued writing (although not as regularly) for the past six weeks, and we brought a few other people into the conversation as well. After struggling to coordinate schedules, four of us actually got together at a friend's house last week to have dinner and a really interesting conversation about a lot of the questions in these emails. I sent Jenny an email a few days ago to thank her for bringing everyone together for a great conversation and ask her if it was okay to share some of our emails here (her response is below). I want to thank her for allowing me to share these with you, not only because it is a bit of a window into her life and faith (and that can be a scary thing to share with people, especially in a space like this), but also because I think her specific thoughts and questions express the way many people think and wonder about God's role in their lives and the world. Although I realize I don't have any of this figured out any better than the next person, I hope someone got something out of reading all these emails. If you have thoughts you'd like to share (or questions you'd like to ask) in response to anything in particular, or even about the conversation as a whole, please leave a comment.]

From: Jenny
To: Andy
Subject: Re: Can I share?
Date: Wed, Apr 23, 2008 at 1:22 PM

Hey Andy. I don’t mind at all if you use portions of our emails on your blog, and thank you for taking time out of your night to meet with us. I think one of the biggest things I came away with last night was the fact that faith is more of a journey, and not a destination. I think I kind of already knew that, but many of the things you shared really drove it home for me. I know life is very busy, so I really appreciate you taking the time to meet last night!

Thanks, Andy!

Jenny

______________________________________________________________________

If you would like to continue reading or thinking about the questions and issues raised in these emails, I would highly recommend the book Letters from a Skeptic by Greg Boyd. Boyd is the senior pastor at Woodland Hills Church in St. Paul, Minnesota and this book is a collection of letters between he and his father (who was not a Christian at the time). In the relatively short time I have taken issues of faith and theology seriously, I have found very few people who are as knowledgeable and understandable as Greg Boyd. If reading a book - or even buying a book and putting it on your bookshelf with the intention of reading it someday - seems like more of a commitment than you’re ready to make right now, I gave a 20-minute sermon on the question “why keep believing?” at Journey a few weeks ago (responding to several of the questions and doubts that often trip us up in our faith). You can listen to it here. (Note: In no way am I trying to imply that my short message summarizes Boyd’s book or even compares to his level of communication, but it’s just an option for anyone looking to think more about all this — I suppose it’s also a shameless plug to get people to listen to my sermon, but I can live with that.)

Whether you listen to my sermon or not, there’s something I’ve been wishing I had said in that message, and even though it doesn’t necessarily fit here, I’m going to share it anyway…

I believe God loves the whole world (John 3:16 says, “for God so loved the world”). I also believe God is present and active throughout the world; even in remote villages that missionaries haven’t visited yet, or nations where people aren’t waving the flag of Jesus Christ. God loves the world and God is doing the best God can do–given the current situation of the world and who God has to work with (us)–to make positive changes in the world.

[The email below is part of a conversation between me and my friend Jenny. If you're just joining in, it will probably make more sense if you go back to the beginning and read them in order (they are all linked together). Click HERE to read Jenny's first email.]

From: Andy
To: Jenny
CC: Sarah
Subject: Re: I have a few questions
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2008 at 11:44 PM

Sarah, sorry I forgot to include you on the last email. I’m glad Jenny copied you on her response so you could keep up with our back and forth thoughts…and to make sure you stay in the loop on the planning for our first session. Feel free to add in your own questions and responses if you’d like, or just read along.

Jenny, I’m glad you feel comfortable enough to ask your honest questions and if anything I’ve written has helped you make better sense of things, then I’m thankful. I think Letters From a Skeptic is a perfect book for you to be reading, along with Matthew’s gospel. Greg Boyd (Skeptic author) does a great job (with the help of his dad’s letters) of addressing some of the biggest God questions ever asked, and he responds to them using some of the most ordinary/everyday language possible (which is quite an accomplishment).

Both of you, let’s make plans to get a small group together and chat about some of these questions. Fridays are typically a good day for me because I don’t have class. I don’t remember meeting Becky, but Sarah says I’ve met her before, and she sounds like someone with great questions as well, so hopefully the four of us can have coffee or lunch together to see if we can figure out what God’s up to in the world and in our lives.

Sarah, I hope your night at work went better than you expected.

Jenny, I hope the kids behave well so you can continue your quest for spiritual wisdom and understanding.

Andy is going to bed because he’s a tired dude.

Peace out.

[Click HERE to read Jenny's last email and my summary of this conversation.]

[The email below is part of a conversation between me and my friend Jenny. If you're just joining in, it will probably make more sense if you go back to the beginning and read them in order (they are all linked together). Click HERE to read Jenny's first email.]

To: Jenny
From: Andy
CC: Sarah
Subject: Re: I have a few questions
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2008 at 11:08 PM

Andy,

Please do not ever worry about how long it takes you to respond to my emails! I do not want you to feel any pressure about getting back to me asap. I never know when I am going to get back to the computer and if I do, many times I am called away before I even get to type in my password.

I appreciate you dealing with me because I do feel like I am going in circles sometimes! I feel like I get things figured out and then something else brings me right back to the beginning. I will resist the urge to ask you more questions tonight.

As for getting together, I would LOVE to. I do have a friend that I would like to invite along in addition to Sarah~I don’t know if you have met Becky. I used to teach with her and she and Sarah are friends as well. She was also in our group when Sarah, myself and others read The Purpose Driven Life. I think we have a lot of the same questions. Becky and I are also reading the book of Matthew together. Neither of us have read much of the bible and so we decided to dive in together. Have I convinced you yet that she would be a good candidate to include in our discussion?

I also decided to get back to reading Letters from a Skeptic. I started it a long time ago, and never finished it, but I am pretty sure it deals with a lot of the questions I am having.

Thanks again for all your thoughts and your time. I will look at my calendar and throw out some dates for a possible gathering. I would have my people call your people, but I am afraid that my peoples’ inexperience with numbers, the calendar and reading for that matter would just confuse things.

Take care,
Jenny

[Click HERE to read my response to this email.]

[The email below is from a conversation between me and my friend Jenny. If you're just joining in, it might make more sense if you go back to the beginning and read them in order (they are all linked together). Click HERE to read Jenny's first email.]

To: Jenny
From: Andy
Subject: Re: I have a few questions
Date: Sun, Mar 9, 2008 at 10:01 PM

Jenny,

Sorry I haven’t been able to respond to your last email yet and I don’t have the energy to do it tonight because I’m thinking an early bedtime is in order. I will offer a few quick general comments though.

As a general rule, big God questions (like the ones you’re asking) only flow out of really honest faith. If people didn’t have faith they wouldn’t have much reason to ask questions (or at least not to care about the questions and the implications of their “answers”). I think a lot of people assume that having questions and doubts means they don’t have faith, and I can understand this assumption, but I don’t think anything could be further from the truth. I used to talk about this with my dad a lot, and I remember a conversation with him on the phone while I was in college when he said “doubt is not the opposite of faith, but doubt is part of faith. Disbelief is the opposite of faith.” I’ve thought about this a lot over the years, and it’s continued to make more sense as I’ve come to understand what it means to “have” faith and come to some deeper realizations of what faith actually is. If you spend a few minutes just thinking about what faith is, you’ll eventually realize that faith cannot possibly exist without doubts - they’re mutually exclusive to each other. Having faith is believing in something that we can’t see, touch, hear or experience in any other ways that fit our earthly/human understandings. Soren Kierkegaard, a Danish philosopher and theologian from the 19th century explained faith as “a person blind-folded walking down a pier on a foggy night, not knowing where the pier ends, but taking the next step.” The imagery of this definition has been helpful to me as I’ve continually attempted to deepen my own personal faith. I bring my biggest questions to God, not because I doubt God’s existence, strength, power, love or plans, but because I believe those things about God and I trust that God is the only one who can handle those questions. Simply having questions about God proves to me that I believe in God, and the act of asking God those questions shows me that I trust that God can respond to my questions. Where faith enters into the situation and gets tricky on a day-by-day, minute-by-minute level is when we have to live without knowing the answers (or in our misunderstandings of how God has been trying to respond to our questions). Another helpful quote for me about all this is from C.S. Lewis, who, when he wasn’t writing about lions, witches and wardrobes, once wrote the statement “I believe in the presence of God as surely as I believe in the presence of the sun. Not merely because I can see it, but because by its light all things can be clearly seen.”

Sorry for not responding to any of the specific questions in your last email, but I hope some of these more general thoughts are helpful. I’ll try to keep up with your questions and would actually love to get together to talk (maybe with Sarah and anyone else who’s interested) about any or all of this in person sometime, but for now email works just fine. I just can’t make any promises that I’ll always be able to respond right away. This is fun for me, so never feel like you’re inconveniencing me with your emails.

And by the way, I didn’t talk to any of the girls at Panera (most of them seemed to be going out to eat with their boyfriends…boo!).

Have a good week.

Andy

P.S. If you’re looking for something to do with 18 minutes of your life, my sermon from Journey last Sunday (on servanthood and Jesus washing his disciples’ feet) is online, click here to listen to it.

[Click HERE to read Jenny's response to this email.]

[The email below is from a conversation between me and my friend Jenny. If you're just joining in, it might make more sense if you go back to the beginning and read them in order (they are all linked together). Click HERE to read Jenny's first email.]

To: Andy
From: Jenny
CC: Sarah
Subject: Re: I have a few questions
Date: Fri, Mar 7, 2008 at 10:13 PM

Andy,

I printed off your responses (not answers) and have been reading them over and writing all over the edges. Not sure that my email will very easy to understand–bits and pieces here and there and a lot more questions. I will do my best to make sense. You wrote at a level I could understand and gave me some great things to think about. I don’t know that I am able to summarize yet, but maybe in some parts. I will try and tell you what I think at this point and maybe you could point out other things I need to consider or where I might be just plain wrong. It was comforting to hear that my questions are ones that many faithful people struggle with. Although I know it is good to question, sometimes it makes me wonder how strong my faith is when I seem to know so little!

You said —God’s kingdom is already here.
As in he is with us, engaged in our lives, but we are blind to some of the ways he is touching our lives? And when you say God is active in this world right now, does that mean he doesn’t just sit back and watch–he is stepping in.

John 1:1
I have heard before that the Word is Jesus. How did people come to that conclusion?

Matthew 22:1-14
Was that saying that the first people God invited–Noah’s time–didn’t deserve to come and so he flooded the earth. Then he invited all people, good and bad, but the man not wearing wedding clothes–was he not believing that Jesus is the son of God, or repentant for his sinful ways?
All are invited but few are chosen—does that mean God choose us or is it that we need to choose him?

Heaven/hell
I did look in the back of my bible and saw that hell was mentioned several times. Does it say that if we do not choose to believe we will go to hell? What you wrote seems to make sense to me or does not really raise many more question. I like your metaphor at the end likening God’s desire to return home to our parents’. I feel like when trying to understand God’s position, I often try to look at it from a parent/child point of view.
However, the only question I have from this part is what about those wonderful people who were raised in a Jewish (or any other) home. It is much less difficult for me to accept Jesus as our savior.

Why was I so lucky to be born into a Christian home? A place where I am not at risk of being killed for my beliefs? Chance and luck? Will God go easy on those who did not have an easy of a decision as I did/do?

Okay, the prayer and how I view God.
When I read The Purpose Driven Life it seemed to be saying that God planned out every detail of my life, he knew I would be emailing you right now. That is a little tough for me to swallow. I believe in free will and it does make sense that free will and God having a firm plan does not jive. I think that God made us, and has the intent for us to have a good life and maybe even a rough outline-or what he thinks is unique about us that will guide our path a little differently than our neighbors’. However, as you said, we live in a fallen world, bad things happen. I do not (or do not want to) believe that God plans bad things. I don’t want to believe that God makes children sick or has a father die to test someone. I like to think that our fallen world is responsible for the tragedy and that although God will not reach down and stop it from happening it to us, he will help us cope and maybe even find something good that comes from it (although it may be small in comparison to what we have lost). What about Job? I have not read the book, but isn’t it supposed to be about God testing him? Or is that taken the wrong way-was the fallen world throwing all that his way and his faith got him through it all?

A side thought to God does not reach in and stop bad things from happening–why should I not be fearful when I am flying? That whole thing about–it is not your time to die–does he sometimes take us when our purpose is fulfilled if our fallen world has not brought us to our death? I guess really it seems to me that he does not take us back to him–it just happens–our bodies fail, and accident, violence. I am not making sense any more. I will stop here.

I copied Sarah on this email. I talked to her while I was typing and I had come to her with my questions first and she encouraged me to ask you about them. I am assuming that you wouldn’t mind my looping her in!

Thanks again for taking the time to read and respond! I feel like a kid in a candy store being able to tap into all your knowledge!

Jenny

ps-did you actually talk to any of those girls at Panera?

[Click HERE to read my response to this email.]