“it is not fair”

Here is a portion of an email I got late last night from one of my good friends who is part of the group that was planning to go to Haiti on Saturday. I asked her permission to share this with you because I think her words describe how many of us are feeling today…
I have tried about 3 times to turn out my lights and go to sleep. I am so restless, the tears keep creeping up on me and streaming down my cheeks, and I feel a dull headache behind my eyes. This is so minimal to how so many people in Haiti feel right now. I know I will never understand it all and I am trying so hard to lean on God in these moments. I can’t help but think of TiJean, Rosie, Jean, Danica, Charwens. Why? Why does life need to be so hard? I will say it a million more times I am sure but “it is not fair.”
I am laying in my bed and I am haunted by the silence. I hear nothing but the hum of my ceiling fan keeping me comfortable as I try to fall asleep. I hear no roosters, dogs, sweeping, chanting, yelling, crying kids from Notre Maison or worse yet gun shots. How blessed am I? I am not out to change the world but how can God use me/us in this crummy situation. I have to trust and believe that something incredible is going to come of this whole situation. I can honestly say that my heart physically hurts right now.

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